Let me tell you about some of my deepest ones.
After aaaall these years of sometimes really freaking hard inner work…
….a part of me is still convinced that there is no other option than to be 1000% independent from anyone and everyone in order to prove that I show up for myself fully.
…a part of me still deeply believes that no one can be completely trusted and that I always have to be alert to the worst case. For this part betrayal is as certain as the sun rising in the east.
…a part of me still puts a lot of energy into me not being too glorious, too successful, too shiny, too big, too happy, too ecstatic, too intense, too honest, too wild, too epic because this part is convinced that bad things will happen. Mostly like no one will love me anymore, ultimately: that I will die.
…a part of me is still attached to this bullshit picture of this freaking romantic Hollywood love story and to this idiocy about love and relationships that is also transmitted in music culture, where the core is almost always deficiency, lack and really unhealthy codependency.
These cultural patterns run so deep through my veins it is excruciating sometimes.
AND I do have a lot of other parts.
Parts that know that everything is possible, that there is nothing like “too much” or “too little”, that there is abundance inside and outside of me, that separation is an illusion, that everything and everyone is connected, that connection and community is part of our nature as humans, that the truth is in our bodies and less in our mind, that love is a state and our true nature.
And after aaaall these years of sometimes really freaking hard inner work most of the times I trust those other parts and allow them to thrive in my life more and more and more and more.
And, yes, sometimes I still do tumble into one of my pitfalls. But my supportive parts are so strong by now that it usually is nothing more than stumble.
And these moments are valuable, too. It’s always a moment of awakening when you realize how you imprisoned yourself all alone by (unconsciously) choosing to believe certain things. Those are moments where you have the opportunity to gain and integrate more wisdom and rewire your system towards incredible pleasure, love and freedom.
It takes courage to meet all parts of you. But it is so worth it.